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The Blog
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Grateful for the Pain
Now I’m not gonna lie and say being home is a breeze…. It’s painful and there are certainly tears… But if I could really describe this...
Amanda Winder
Nov 25, 20143 min read
The Holidays are Coming...
It’s an overwhelming thought to think…. the one that includes my mom having to sort through her life…. Knowing that she shouldn’t have to...
Amanda Winder
Nov 17, 20143 min read
The Provider
Yesterday I starred thinking about the Yarbrough house…. the house I lived in for 16 years… the house my parents lived in for 20 years…...
Amanda Winder
Nov 7, 20144 min read
New Normal
I feel guilty… guilty because dad’s been dead for 5 months and I let the day slip by me without remembering…. November 2nd came and...
Amanda Winder
Nov 4, 20142 min read
Death Lessons
Death keeps teaching me so many lessons…. I wonder if it is one of the greatest teachers… There are so many facets to it… The absence of...
Amanda Winder
Oct 21, 20143 min read
We Just Do Life
And then there were three…. Three of us remain… and we are supposed to be a family of four… but that’s not how life turned out… and it’s...
Amanda Winder
Oct 18, 20144 min read
Grief: stage 2?
5-10 years with cancer…. Living with the knowledge of it for one month… One week in the hospital… 2 days spent as a family before he was...
Amanda Winder
Oct 14, 20142 min read
Tears and the Unknown
I cried myself to sleep last night… it’s been a while since I’ve let loose and cried that much… I didn’t think I had that much emotion...
Amanda Winder
Oct 14, 20143 min read
Hurting for Mom...
You know those unexpected moments when you don’t think tears aren’t going to hit you out of know where?… I just simply open a photo book...
Amanda Winder
Oct 9, 20143 min read
Still Without...
Missing dad becomes different…. Each time I miss him it seems to be for a different reason… Like he’s not there to take in the moment… or...
Amanda Winder
Oct 4, 20144 min read
Mutual Forgiveness
I feel offended… I feel bitter…. Actually I know I’m bitter deep down… I’ve gone round and round about bitterness lately… But this… This...
Amanda Winder
Oct 1, 20142 min read
Lacking Support
I’m a little irritated… maybe a little angry…. a little bit disappointed…. and I didn’t really realize it until last night…. Before dad...
Amanda Winder
Sep 21, 20143 min read
A Moment Without Words
There’s an image in my mind… An image I can’t shake… It’s the day of dads visitation and I’m running late… Moms a case of grief… She’s...
Amanda Winder
Sep 17, 20142 min read
Empty Spaces...
The emotions of death are so real and raw…. It doesn’t matter where I am, who I’m with or what I’m doing… when I feel the emotions...
Amanda Winder
Sep 13, 20142 min read
Do Not Resuscitate
I find myself questioning a lot right now…. In my own mind and with mom… Actually my conversation with mom sparked these thoughts.. We...
Amanda Winder
Sep 7, 20144 min read
Shine Up
Yesterday came and went so quickly….. it came and went and I never even thought about the fact that it was three months since dad’s been...
Amanda Winder
Sep 3, 20143 min read
Respecting the Unknown
I miss my dad so much…. I miss him so much and all of a sudden jokes about death and dying strike me differently. Like yesterday….....
Amanda Winder
Sep 2, 20143 min read
A Weekend Without
Well….. college football season finally began today. It’s officially a new season… A new year to watch teams dominate….. and obviously...
Amanda Winder
Aug 30, 20142 min read
Joy through the Pain
I cry when I see people tragically die in movies now…. like the scenes that just don’t seem right or fair…. well I understand that pain...
Amanda Winder
Aug 24, 20143 min read
Comfort in Finding Self
In death I’m learning that we’re all supposed to keep living…. keep living and moving forward and pursuing whatever it is we truly want...
Amanda Winder
Aug 20, 20143 min read
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