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The Blog
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Stewardship of a Child
Since dad’s been gone I’ve wanted to tell him so many things… share my little, yet expanding L.A. world with him like I always did…. but...
Amanda Winder
Aug 7, 20143 min read
Missing the Moment
I had a solid moment of regret yesterday….. regret followed by pain and tears. I regretted not telling dad goodbye when he was alert and...
Amanda Winder
Aug 4, 20143 min read
It's Just a Body
Why is it that we care so much about the physical….. our bodies and what we can see and touch? I’ve asked myself this question before…....
Amanda Winder
Jul 26, 20144 min read
Overriding Grief
I’m back…. back in the City of Angels…. and for some reason I’m not extremely happy to be here. I feel sad and a little angry. As...
Amanda Winder
Jul 23, 20143 min read
Life's a Blessing
5 am… 5 am came this morning and I just laid in my bed. I laid in my bed halfway dreading the fact that I was going to have to tell my...
Amanda Winder
Jul 22, 20143 min read
Breakdown v Breakthrough
I went into dad’s closet this morning to get a sweatshirt (apparently Shreveport’s decided to be in the 70s in July)…. and after I got...
Amanda Winder
Jul 19, 20143 min read
Selfishness
Wow…. I really miss my dad today. Like bad. I woke up and thought “I really miss dad.” But I couldn’t give myself a reason. Nothing...
Amanda Winder
Jul 17, 20144 min read
Distracted?
I’ve been told that with time it gets easier… And I’m starting to believe that’s true. I feel like the freshness of dad’s death is...
Amanda Winder
Jul 16, 20143 min read
Universal
Since dad’s death I’ve been learning that our struggles, our heartbreaks and heartaches…. well, they connect us. I’ve known for a while...
Amanda Winder
Jul 15, 20143 min read
Smile for Me Baby
Since I’ve been missing dad so much, we finally decided to set up an old TV/VCR and watch home videos. Three hours later, I was grateful....
Amanda Winder
Jul 14, 20143 min read
Love
The absence of my father hits me in the strangest ways. Like yesterday when LeBron decided to return to Cleveland. I was in the gym when...
Amanda Winder
Jul 12, 20142 min read
Birthdays
Dad, I wish you were here today. When I told you I would be home in July for your birthday, you discouraged it. You wanted me to travel...
Amanda Winder
Jul 9, 20142 min read
Questions
Today’s dad’s birthday… He was almost 53. 53 and young… but now he’s 52 and frozen in time. Last night I logged onto Facebook and clicked...
Amanda Winder
Jul 9, 20143 min read
Stuff...
It fascinates me how much we care about the physical… how much we care about the way we look, our clothes, cars, jobs and houses. It’s...
Amanda Winder
Jul 7, 20143 min read
Confidence
Sometimes I feel like death is teaching me more than I wanted to learn. Like when I lay in bed at night and miss my dad. I just want him...
Amanda Winder
Jul 6, 20143 min read
Judgement
Last night was the first outing we went on as a family without dad…. and it kind of sucked. It was great to celebrate the engagement of a...
Amanda Winder
Jul 5, 20143 min read
Disappointment
Not gonna lie… I’m being a little selfish this morning. Sometimes being an adult sucks because you have to make decisions, decisions that...
Amanda Winder
Jul 2, 20143 min read
Feelings
How do I feel right now? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel, but I’ve been trying to answer this question for myself all morning. I...
Amanda Winder
Jul 1, 20143 min read
Just Live
Yesterday… yesterday I felt like the most boring version of myself possible. Seriously. After working on paperwork and thank you letters...
Amanda Winder
Jun 28, 20144 min read
Protection
When we were kids, a friend down the street had a bunch of invisible lizards. They were contaminated from some sort of chemical and the...
Amanda Winder
Jun 27, 20144 min read
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