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Mediocre or Excellent?



Over the past month, I’ve had the most challenging time waking up in the morning. I thought it was just a “me” thing, but then my sister told me she couldn’t sleep at night at all. We discussed it in depth, questioning, “Why are we both struggling in the area of sleep?”


I said, “Maybe it’s the change in the weather. It’s warmer now in our NYC apartment.” My sister said, “Maybe, but I don’t think so.” I said, “Well, are you stressed or anxious, but don’t realize it?” She said, “No.” I said, “And, I don’t feel a sense of hopelessness or depression that would keep me from getting up in the morning.”


For days, we went back and forth about it. Still not having an answer, we both decided to persevere past our unwelcome reality. My alarm would go off every morning and my head would be in a state of fogginess, so I would hit “snooze” at least five times before finally getting up “very late.” Once my sister got "up," I would ask, "Did you sleep?" She would say, "No. I just laid in bed wide awake. I even asked Holy Spirit if He intended for me to be awake, to which he said, ‘no.'”


Last week, we discussed it in detail again. I said, “You know... I think the most annoying part of all of this is that I feel so frustrated about the fact that my time with Holy Spirit is being threatened. I usually spend two hours with him every morning, but this sleep thing… Well, it keeps intruding on my time with him. Rather than waking up at 7am and sitting with him from 8am-10am, I am in a sleep stupor until 8am. Then, by the time I finally wake up and sit down to meet with him, it’s 9am. Meaning I only have an hour. But you know… I make myself press into 11am. I think to myself, 'Other things can wait. I will press myself into the next hour (on days that I can) because I don’t want to lose this time with him. It is that important to me.'”


My sister then said, “Well, I’m basically doing the same thing. I’m not sleeping, but I don’t feel tired. It’s strange. I can get all of my work done even without sleeping. I just keep going throughout the day. And maybe sometimes I do feel a little bit tired, but I still choose to finish the work I have in front of me. I’m not putting it off. I am determined to press into what God’s given me to do for the day with excellence, no matter what.”


And that’s when it hit us… In the midst of the lack of sleep and inability to wake up on time, we both realized what was happening… Our excellence was being challenged. Would we give our best, no matter the circumstance? Would I choose to shorten my time with Holy Spirit because I couldn’t wake up on time? Would my sister choose to underperform because she couldn’t sleep at night? No, we would rise above and still give our very best, no matter the circumstance.


---


The more I’ve sat with this and asked questions, the more I’ve realized God is the sleep culprit because he has been teaching us through this.


We both agreed that if we didn’t choose to be excellent, even in the midst of the sleep adversity, that we would be choosing to be mediocre.


I don’t ever want to be mediocre in my relationship with Holy Spirit because then it will bleed into all of my work. It will affect every area of Cultivate Life.


Choosing the mediocre route, especially in my spiritual life and relationship with Holy Spirit, cheapens the harvest of what I am producing with him. It cheapens the quality of fruit we’ve both worked so diligently to cultivate together.


I have to give him my best, even on days when I have a challenging time waking in the morning. And if that means sacrificing other things that are less important than my time with him, then so be it. I won’t be able to remain sharp and agile without my time in his presence. Instead, I will become sluggish, dull, and led by my soul’s thoughts and emotions.


I fear becoming spiritually sluggish and dull. Not in an unhealthy way, but in a very, “that will harm me way.” Spiritual dullness is produced by a lack of excellence in my time with Holy Spirit. If I don’t give my best, I won’t remain sharp and ready for each thing that comes my way. However, if I continue to choose to spend time with him, sharpening my spiritual tools and senses, then, when “the” moment arises, I will be ready. My spirit will be capable of leading, and my soul will understand its role is to stay quiet and assist when needed. Also, the things I am able to accomplish in the supernatural will be stronger, deeper, and more powerful because I have the capacity to carry the weight of what’s happening.

 

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bridget
bridget
5 days ago

I fear becoming spiritually sluggish and dull. Not in an unhealthy way, but in a very, “that will harm me way.” Spiritual dullness is produced by a lack of excellence in my time with Holy Spirit. If I don’t give my best, I won’t remain sharp and ready for each thing that comes my way.” 😮‍💨🔥🖤

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Amanda Winder
Amanda Winder
5 days ago
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