Not So Rose-Colored

Lately, I’ve found myself ranting internally and externally about the not so rose-colored reality of following Holy Spirit. It seemingly sounds like an epic story from afar… “Oh you’re just gonna go spend some time with an all-powerful, trans-dimensional being named Jesus for a bit. He’s gonna heal you of sickness and disease, set you free of darkness and decay, and equip you for a life of peace and joy... And then, my dear, you’re golden!”

And while the above is true, it’s only partially true. Once we’re healthy, whole, and free of darkness and pain, we are different. Our insides don’t match the outside world like they once did. So, there is deep conflict inside of us. It’s isolating to feel free and healthy, but then have to navigate the brokenness and pain around us.

While the difference is a challenging reality, it actually pales in comparison to the work in front of us.

For many, it’s exciting to learn we’re created with the capacity to become large, powerful human spirits who are equip to take on darkness and evil; however, in order to actually become large, powerful human spirits who contend with darkness and evil, we must train hard. And, as we train and become strong, we must then begin to fight very, very hard to oppose the spiritual opposition around us.

Often times the fight is larger than our soul’s were ever anticipating because our minds don’t yet have the comprehension to understand the nature of the spirit world. And while the human spirit is helpful in helping us decipher and understand complex wisdom and revelation that aids in overcoming darkness and evil, it still takes time for the soul to process. This leaves us frustrated and, often times, overwhelmed. We need pieces to extremely complicated and out-of-the box puzzles.

In my thoughts about the reality, I’ve considered how so many of us hear and see the promises of God through rose-colored glasses. We romanticize the mission Holy Spirit has placed in front of us. We don’t have much of an understanding of the level of spiritual warfare we will in fact encounter as we journey forward; and, in response, we get severely let down when the mission is incredibly harder than we ever anticipated.

For years of my own life, I’ve experienced the downfall of romanticizing the things of God. I saw the magnificent realities Holy Spirit shared with me through rose-colored glasses. It hurt my feelings deeply when I realized the realities would not become a reality unless I worked hard with him to see them manifest. I had to muscle up and grow. It also hurt my feelings when I realized adversity coming from the kingdom of darkness would continue to be a large and dominant part of the follow. The path would not be paved with glittering gold and flowers all around. Instead, it would be filled with blood, sweat, and more tears than I ever wished for.

And while Holy Spirit and Jesus have been there by my side helping me learn how to operate fully from my human spirit, they still have not been able to do the work for me. They’ve needed me to step up and step into the position they’ve given me. Empowered through Christ yes, but he cannot make me do any of the work as I contend with the kingdom of darkness. He cannot wake me up every morning to sit in stillness for an hour or more and pray. He cannot make me remain spirit forward and aware throughout the day as I pray for others to succeed in the current part of the journey they are on with him. He cannot scour the internet for me while I piece together information about land rights and history for a territorial warfare case. And he certainly cannot build the businesses I continue to pour myself into.

Yes, he can give me access to power, glory, and creativity that flow from him and then I can wield it in his image for breakthrough and overthrow of evil and darkness, but he cannot actually go through the training and growth period- that is for me and me alone. I have to consciously and consistently choose to move forward with each step Holy Spirit places in front of me, all while making sure I do not manipulate or deceive anything or anyone along the way.

When I look back at the last five years, it has been hard. Sometimes so unbearably hard that I’ve desperately pleaded with God on countless tearful occasions for the keys and revelation to the breakthrough for the warfare in front of me. His response, “Keep moving forward. The pieces you need will continue to appear and the warfare will eventually break, but you must keep going. You can do this.”

And I don’t want you to feel confused. The follow has been filled with joy. I am very healthy and whole on the inside and the outside. Yes, there are always areas where I step into more freedom and healing, but for the most part, the hardness of the follow comes from the further development and maturity of my entire being as it goes through a series of learning how to take on more work and warfare.

But the increase of more challenging obstacles is good. At this point, I understand I will need to always continue to develop, grow, and mature. Understanding the processes and inner working realities of the follow will always deepen. My desire to keep going will not falter. And when it does, I just have to take my soul by the hand and remind it that we are made for more. We are created to overcome the rough realities- even the ones that were once blissfully rose-colored.

   Copyright © 2026 Cultivate Life, All rights reserved.