And Then the Path Got Narrower
I took the next step… And then the path got narrower.
I should’ve expected it. I shouldn’t be surprised. And yet, I feel this nagging sense of trepidation deep in my soul. A question lingers, “Now what?”
The “now what?” is a common question I’ve experienced journeying with Holy Spirit. I’ve learned with time and loads of failed experience to make sure he’s fully in the room and being consulted when I’m making plans. Because, if he’s not, the plans are a bust and I’m forced to go back to the drawing table with him to get the elements of the “next” all straightened out.
So, it comes as no surprise to me that I’m sitting here on a chilly, late September morning wondering, “Now what?” I took the next several steps which have led me to a narrower path, but, “Now what?”
I can feel the narrowness of the path. It kind of stalks me in my sleep- this deep understanding in my spirit that knows, “What we are about to do next is completely different and semi weird for my soul. Meaning, there isn’t a formula or pattern for it. I’m going to have to take each step forward and the firmness of each step will have to manifest as I step out.”
My soul hates this kind of follow with Holy Spirit. I have to loose more control than I’d like. I have to settle into the reality that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and it’s okay. We are learning and growing. That’s a giant part of living.
But here I sit with in deep wonder about this tight, narrow path. What will it do to me? How will it cause me to grow and mature? Who do I need to become? Most importantly, what do I need to sacrifice as I walk down it?
My questions of course quickly manifest into answers from Holy Spirit. He says, “The narrower path will cost you more. Mainly your thought life. I need more of it submitted to where we are going. I need more of your focus so we can get where we are going. You need to embody a higher version of yourself than you are right now. We are creating something that is so tightly focused in on healing and restoration that I need your focus to become tighter. I need you to submit more.”
I respond, “I feel like I need to become sharper too. Will the narrower path make me sharper?” Holy Spirit’s response, “Yes, the narrower path will make you sharper, but you will need to follow the instructions in front of you as you walk down the path. You need to become more willing to the strictness and discipline built into the narrower path.
Because of your choices over the summer on the semi-narrower path, you have had tremendous ease getting to this moment. You chose to listen and follow me with each step you took, and because of your listening, the even narrower path has opened itself up to you.
This narrower path isn’t scary, but it is deeply defining. It will call you to a level of maturity that you do not know yet. You need to step into this level of maturity as it presents itself to you.
Oh, and don’t fret about the challenging parts of the narrower path. The challenging parts of the path will seem easy to you because you are skilled at things being challenging. You know how to respond to adversity very well. The adversity you experience on this narrower path will actually be exciting. It will be good. Trust me as you step out.”
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It’s tough to step out into the next thing. It’s challenging to keep choosing to be brave. I never thought the path to fulfilling the vision would be this hard. I knew it would be hard, but spiritually, it’s been way more difficult than what I was prepared for.
But I’ve learned that it’s of great value to follow the path in front of me that Holy Spirit is opening up. Yes, it always becomes narrower- meaning, there is always an ask for more of myself that I hold onto dearly to let go of so that the vision can fully manifest. And that is scary, letting go of more. But it’s also fulfilling to know that the fulness of the vision is closer than it’s ever been.
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