I had a dream a few nights ago. In the dream, I was on an assignment from Holy Spirit. The assignment in the dream was understood, as I have been working through this assignment outside of the dream for a while now.
In the dream I cannot leave the house I’m in without my tennis shoes on my feet. The problem is, I cannot find my tennis shoes anywhere. I tear through this house, which isn’t mine. I look up and down. I check every crevice they could possibly be. I am annoyed in the dream. I need my shoes. I cannot step out of the house without them on my feet. They are vital for where I am going and the next step I must follow.
Then, very suddenly, my grandmother is in front of me with my mom. She says, “Did you check your lingerie bag?” I think, “Well I did just leave the gym before coming here, but why would I put my tennis shoes in my lingerie bag? That’s weird.” So, I sit down in front of her and open my backpack. I pull out my gym clothes and then my lingerie bag. Sure enough, the tennis shoes are inside of the bag. I can’t believe it.
When I woke up from the dream, I scratched by head over several other parts of the dream, but I knew what the core of the dream was saying to me.
The next leg of the race I am running with Holy Spirit will require me to lean deeper into my relationship with Him. I will need to develop a deeper level of intimacy. Only through this deeper level of intimacy will I gain my “shoes” to run the next portion of the race.
I’ve sat with this dream for a few days. I’ve questioned what it must be that Holy Spirit is wanting to develop inside of me before I can have my shoes to run the next portion of this specific assignment. I don’t have the answer yet.
Days before having the dream, He said to me, “It is vital that you really continue to prepare the posture of your heart. Ask yourself, ‘Where is my heart flowing? To who is my heart flowing into? What is flowing into my heart? What is tugging at my subconscious realm and asking me lots of questions? What else is there? What else needs to be picked through so that I may go forward into a more in-depth and introspective journey with glory?’ These are all questions you need to be able to answer at this hour. The hour is short. The hour is full. The hour is jam packed with an overflowing.”
I know the dream is connected to my heart realm. I know I cannot have my shoes to run the next portion until I have answered these questions and really processed through where He is taking me in this hour. I don’t know the level of obedience and sacrifice the answers to the questions will produce, but I want to follow the next portion of the assignment.
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Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m sharing such personal, yet vague information with you about my current growth with Holy Spirit.
My answer… Well, because I want to encourage you to keep going. I think so often we follow Holy Spirit without a clear-cut picture of the next step. He just kind of says, “Move forward,” but we don’t know how. Sure, we might see the final destination because He gave us the big-picture, but He didn’t reveal all of the “legs” of the race we would have to run in order to see the big-picture become a manifested reality. He didn’t tell us, “Oh well, you will get there… BUT you will have to be refined, develop, grow, and mature into a different version of yourself in order to achieve it."
So, after extended periods of following Him, we get weary and somewhat anxious and hopeless, wondering, “Will I ever get there? Maybe I’ll just give up. Maybe I’ll lean into my distractions more than Him because it’s too challenging to become ‘that’ version of me. Too much effort is involved. I’d rather be lazy and make excuses. I’d rather just ignore what He’s asked me to do because the next ‘leg’ is awfully terrifying to my soul.”
And so, we begin to drift away from the journey. We begin to pull away from Him. We don’t choose courage. We choose fear, doubt, anxiety, and insecurity. And, as we drift away, we lose the spiritual sharpness we once had in those intimate moments where we had to lean on Him in order to “keep going.” Our spiritual connection actually becomes so dull that we slowly begin to lean on our soul and heart to guide us, which only produces a toxic situation for our entire being.
However, what if we just kept going? What if we faced the challenging moments of refinement, development, growth, and maturity head on? What if we tell our souls, “Soul, I know you are very weary, doubtful, anxious, and insecure about this journey, but we have to stay the course. We must do the challenging things Holy Spirit is asking of us. Even if He is asking us to do five challenging things at once, we must face them all and lean on Him for support when things feel heavy. We must run the next leg of the race!”
That’s what I’m telling my own soul right now. In the midst of juggling so many assignments, I have to have my shoes to run the next leg, so I must lean deeper into intimacy with Him to receive the instructions. And, although, I haven’t a clue what the instructions will entail, I must follow them with excellence as I run the next leg of this portion of the journey.
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