The Eyes of My Heart
I am still circling the realm of hope. My soul is challenged by it daily. I actually had a massive, crying breakdown after Holy Spirit gave me the instruction, “Expect to expect.”
“What does that even mean?!?!” I asked him, mascara streaming down my face and all.
He said, “You keep asking me, ‘What do I need to become expectant for?’ I am saying, ‘Expect to expect. Expect to become expectant. Expect to receive an answer on what you are to expect. I know it is a mind riddler for your soul, but this is part of the process of learning how to hope.”
Now, I don’t appreciate his instruction at all. It’s been very challenging for my soul to navigate. So much so that I would rather distract myself than move forward.
I’m even annoyed with the tone of my voice when I hear myself tell someone, “Oh, I hope so!” I can hear the intention inside of me. It isn’t expectant at all. My heart is basically saying, “I don’t expect that will happen at all, but I must say, ‘I hope so’ because that’s what I’m supposed to say.”
It’s a strange conundrum… To hear the intention of your heart and know it isn’t actually meaning what it’s saying.
I can hear that same inflection and intention in others too. When someone says, “I hope so,” almost every time, they don’t hope so from a place of expectancy. They hope so from a place of faith and belief or because it’s what they’re “supposed to say” too.
Now, remember, hope is different than faith. Faith is believing and trusting. Hope is expecting. I believe. I trust. But I don’t expect. And that is a giant hang up when you’re working with your human spirit and Holy Spirit to pull the unseen reality into the seen reality.
In all of this, I’ve begun to shift my focus some. I’ve taken the pressure off my soul and begun to ask that the eyes of my heart would be opened to expectancy. I need my heart’s eyes to become enlightened about what I am to become expectant for.
The heart is the middle ground of our entire being. It has gates that open into our spirits, souls, and bodies. It is the place where our seeds of hope are planted. It is a ground of life that must be cultivated in a life-giving way.
My heart is struggling because it would like to align with my soul, rather than align with my spirit. I can see my spirit. She is moving along with where Holy Spirit is leading. She isn’t concerned about what is happening in the 3D earth realm right now. She is only focused on the realm of heaven and what is on the Father’s heart, but my soul is different. She doesn’t want to look at the hope she’s called to. So, this is where my heart realm gets involved. I need the eyes of my heart to shift their focus. I need them to look up. I need my heart to listen to my spirit and become enlightened to what Holy Spirit is calling it too.
If what I’m saying sounds complex, it’s because it is. The complexity inside of us is large, but I want you to see and understand that hope, like faith, is a layered reality. There are many moving pieces and parts of us that have to get on board with what Holy Spirit is actually doing.
In this case, my soul and the intent of my heart would like to become hopeful for the things they believe are important right now in the 3D earth realm, but my spirit and Holy Spirit keep calling me to look up at the realm of Heaven. They keep shaking me and telling me to “expect to expect” what’s above, not what’s below.
If you feel this inside of you too, a struggle and a challenge to get your whole self on board, ask yourself:
Where are the eyes of my heart focused?
Are they gazing on the things my soul hopes, wants, and desires?
Or, are they looking realms and dimensions upward? Gazing on and enlightened by the spiritual revelation, development, growth and maturity my spirit and Holy Spirit are leading me into?
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