Updated: 6 days ago
My father died in a rather dramatic form with my mother, sister and grandparents standing in the room.
Before he passed, my grandfather said, “I have great hope Chris will live. When we go to pray with people, I always know when someone is going to die because I see a white sheet come up over the person’s face in the spirit. I haven’t seen that for your dad.” To this day my mom says, “I said to your dad, ‘Chris when you’re healed, our lives will be different. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for the other side of healing that your mother experienced?” Even Bridget and I were firm in our faith and hope… “He’s going to be healed! We are going to see the power of Holy Spirit perform a miracle in his life like He did in Mom-Mom’s (my grandmother) life.”
Unfortunately, contrary to all of our faith and hope, we watched my dad die.
In that heartbreaking moment, I knew something inside of me instantly changed. It was evident that my world had just experienced a cataclysmic earthquake…. Something that would take years to rebuild and recover from.
It’s been 8 ½ years. Meaning, I’ve moved past the challenging emotions associated with the absence of my dad. Sure, I have my moments, but they are few and far between. Instead, I move forward with the memory of him stored deep within my heart.
But ya know, in true Holy Spirit fashion, a divinely, epic moment has stopped me in my tracks and forced my focus back to June 2, 2014.
If you read my blog last week, then you know I shared about resistance and hope. When I initially wrote the blog, I knew Holy Spirit had given me something significant, but then, the more I examined it, the more it began to blossom.
It actually blossomed so much that my sister asked Holy Spirit, “Do I have hope?” Which she heard Him say, “No. You have faith, but not hope.”
Once she told me what Holy Spirit said, I immediately asked Him the same question, “Do I have hope?” He said, “No. Death stole your seeds of hope when your father died. Amanda, I spent your entire life cultivating seeds of hope concerning divine healing and the miraculous in your life and your sister's life. I sowed those seeds. They are Mine. I allowed them to be deposited into you. Your faith, hope and love for a healing miracle in your dad's life was so strong. So was your mother's. It was very strong. However, Satan came in with Death and stole your seeds of hope and then replaced them with seeds of unbelief and doubt when your father passed. You’ve been without your seeds of hope since that moment.”
After He said this, I said, “What do we have to do to get them back?!?!?! I am FURIOUS Satan has overplayed his hand like this in my life!! I am FURIOUS we have been without hope for so long!!!”
Holy Spirit said, “Take Satan to court and demand that he spits up your seeds of hope. Demand that he vomits them up! He knows he is in the wrong. He must spit up the seeds. He must give them up. And let me tell you this too… Since the seeds are already developed and nurtured, it means they are on the brink of maturation. They just need to be rescued and reinstated in all three of your lives... Your mother included.”
After telling me this, my sister and I opened a case against Satan in the courts of Heaven for the Winder Women’s stole seeds (mom included). In the court room, we all three repented for agreeing with fear, doubt and unbelief. Then, Death was made to vomit up the seeds he stole. After he vomited them up, I asked angels to cleanse them and restore all their missing pieces and parts.
Since our court case on Sunday, things have shifted a great deal. I don’t really feel the resistance from darkness I wrote about last week. My reinstated hope has somehow seemingly pushed out the darkness that was incased around me. Faith has always helped me believe I can do anything, but now, with my hope back in the game, I expect I will do everything.
Now, if you had asked me a week ago if I had hope, I would’ve ignorantly said, “Yes.” Unfortunately, I was wrong. I was wrong because that moment of losing my dad was so significantly brass on me. I remember standing there after his death in sheer panic and loss. My expectancy for healing and miracles was completely gone. Yes, I had faith. I never lost my faith and belief in healing miracles. I’ve continued to trust the power of God can and will do that, but my hope… My expectancy has been the missing ingredient. I’ve been believing, but not expecting what I am believing for because I’ve been operating out of the fear, doubt and unbelief Death deposited into my heart when my dad died.
However, now that my hope is reinstated, I see God’s formula a little bit clearer because I see that that miracles, healings, signs and wonders cannot happen without hope. Hope, in so many ways, is unseen because it’s mistaken for faith. We believe and believe and believe, but do we expect what we are believing for? Or do we just aimlessly have faith for the sake of it?
I ask because I am realizing that faith needs a future target called hope.
So, I will leave you with this. Ask yourself and Holy Spirit: “Do I have hope? Do I have expectancy for what I am believing for? Or, is my hope really just faith in disguise?”
If you receive a “no” like I did, ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you the moment Satan stole your seeds of hope. Once He reveals that moment, take Satan (or in my case Death) to court, repent for the areas of fear, doubt and unbelief you agreed with and then demand that Satan gives back what he has stolen! 🌱
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