The Path to Transition

This year has been more challenging than I expected. It’s taken everything in me to keep moving forward. There have been many moments I didn’t think I could keep going. Moments that have overwhelmed my heart and soul in such a way that I’ve told Holy Spirit on numerous occasions, “I cannot do this anymore. It’s too much. The journey. The process. The pitfalls. The failures. The warfare. They’ve produced so much pain, disappointment and frustration inside of me. I don’t want to follow this path in front of me anymore. I want out.”

Revelation has also felt further from me than usual. Which I was not prepared to for.

And while I do feel more revelation calling me, I’m almost nervous to answer it’s call because “What if it asks more of me?” Maybe I don’t want the responsibility of stewarding the revelation in front of me. It cost too much!

Every time I ask Holy Spirit, “Where do I go next?” He continues to reply, “Amanda, you are right where you are supposed to be. I know it feels strange and I know it feels different and I know you are frustrated with me and wondering where my faithfulness is, but you are right where I need you to be right now. There is much ahead and it is good. It is the fulfillment of many of the things I have promised as you’ve pursued.”

So, in the midst of the challenge, frustration, and questioning, I’ve chosen to remain unmoved from the path. I’ve chosen to trust him for one or maybe six more goes.

In the trusting, something new began to spring up inside of me.

At first it came with Holy Spirit saying, “Stay in the victory. Count the victories and the wins. Focus on the territory you’ve taken in the spirit realm. Fix your eyes on the hope that has been achieved and the longings that have been fulfilled.”

As I started to count, I found myself in very, very dated moments. Being healed of asthma at five. Losing one-hundred pounds and the sometimes-brutal struggle of learning how to maintain it over the past sixteen and a half years. Cultivating confidence and security in the “new” body I gained from losing so much weight. Healing and finding reprieve and rest from the sudden death of my father at the age of 25. A sugar addiction that no longer consumes me in any way because he freed me from a generational fear of being alone. The list goes on and on.

Somewhere in the counting, I found myself no longer focused on my pain and frustration with the path. Instead, I felt joy. I felt happiness. I felt peace. The vibration in my heart and soul started to change with my focus.

He even said, “Continue to walk in the victories. Continue to allow them to lead you into your next. I know where you are headed and it is good, but it needs to be moved by the victories of the past. They have a resonate frequency about them that will help open up the next thing in front of you. I know you are tired. I know you want a resolution in so many ways right now, but you must stay focused on the good and keep moving forward.”

Then, somehow… He was right. HAHA! My focus on the victories walked me right up to a path labeled “transition.”

In the month of October, Holy Spirit pointed out areas of my life that are changing and transitioning. He’s making room for the next. He’s asking me to let go of and step away from some things. The transition isn’t so much in the physical realm yet. It’s more so within my thought life and the duties that swirl around my business.

It’s uncomfortable… the transition. It’s asking me to step into a more mature and elevated version of myself. If I’m honest, my soul feels uncomfortable stepping into this more mature and elevated version because I have to let go of this imposter sense of self I am carrying. I have to lean in deeply and believe in who I am more.

In the leaning in, I’m discovering higher levels of confidence and security. It’s like there’s a key in my spirit’s hand that is unlocking each door in front of it so that I may step boldly into my next, fully ready and equip to tackle my next assignment.

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