“Where am I falling short?” What an uncomfortable question to ask. You know when you feel yourself falling short, but you don’t want to make a scene of it? So, instead you just kind of ignore it and hope it will eventually work itself out.
But then, when you’re maturing with Holy Spirit, you come to a place where you can’t ignore the areas where you’re falling short because you know He is going to drag the truth to the surface and make you stare at it until there is a detailed process for moving forward.
That’s where I am in this exact moment. I know deep in my spirit that I am falling short in areas where He would like me to mature more. I mean He’s practically told me the areas for at least a month without mentioning, “Hey, you’re falling short.” Instead, He’s been super graceful about it like, “You’re going to be maturing in this area next.” Of course, He’s said it over and over again, but I haven’t leaned into His instructions as hard as He’s asked.
So finally, I asked, “Holy Spirit, where am I falling short? Where can I mature more? Am I not self-disciplined enough? I know there are places inside of me that need more maturity.”
Immediately He said, “You still feel like you aren’t enough. You still see yourself as small and often times insignificant. You’re good with self-discipline. This is a matter of the heart. It’s a matter of belief in who you are. You still don’t believe in yourself enough.
I’m not asking you to believe in yourself over Me. I am asking you to believe in Me and then believe in yourself. Your belief in Me should spill over into what you believe about yourself because the depth of you is your identity in Me.
You must believe in all of who your human spirit is. All of it.
Amanda, I know you are tired of paving paths. I know you’re wondering when things will begin to make more sense and open up into more than they already are, but the truth is… you’ve got to believe in you more because there is so much ahead. There is so much building and so much going through ahead, and if you do not believe in yourself more then you will not be able to press through into the next.”
I asked, “How? How do I believe in myself more? I feel like there are large parts of my human spirit I just don’t know at all, so it makes it challenging to believe in something I don’t even know.”
He said, “It’s true, you do have somewhat of a spiritual amnesia. There’s a ceiling you’ve hit in knowing and understanding who your spirit is and how it operates. Now, I am asking you to wake up to more of who you are. I am asking you to press past the boundaries of what you know and pursue areas where you’ve been spiritually asleep.
These areas are vaster than what you might think. There are so many things about your human spirit that you do not know. You’ve got to unlock them with Me. They only get unlocked when you’re following Me into them.
Right now, you are able to complete the assignments in front of you in the heavens and the earth realms because of your ability to connect to your human spirit and execute what’s in front of you. You have been successful in your assignments because you lean into and believe in your human spirit’s capabilities. But now I am asking for more. I am asking you to come up higher in the spirit and then stay up higher for longer periods of time, dwelling in the spirit as a human spirit.
The goal is to remain here because here is where you see life the clearest. Here is where you are able to operate in fullness. You cannot operate in the fullness of Jesus from your soul, heart, and body realms alone. It’s not possible. Those realms are too muddled and overrun with chaos. But when you are lifted up higher into the heights of your spirit, then and only then will you be able to connect to the fullness of who you truly are.”
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