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The Messy Build

Lately, I’ve had these reoccurring thoughts when thinking about last year. They go something like this... “Last year wasn't a bad year for me… Last year was a challenging year for me. The year was challenging for my soul because my spirit forced it to let go of the old and pick up more of the new.

Holy Spirit was adamant that I walk down the unpaved path in front of me, pick up the tools I saw on the ground and then begin to figure out how to use them so I could follow the blueprint and build the house He’s designed.”

Now, it’s not that walking down an unpaved path is unusual for me; however, the unpaved path becomes increasingly more challenging when Holy Spirit gives you tools to build a house, but then you don’t know how to use those tools.

It’s like I’m standing there with a truck-bed full of expensive power tools, wondering, “Okay, now how do I turn this thing on? Oh okay, we’ve turned it on…. Great job, Amanda!... Now how do I use it with excellence so I don’t hurt myself or anyone else around me? Brilliant. Okay…. Now what about those other tools over there? How do they work with the tool in my hand to help me create what I see on the blueprint in front of me?!”

Of course, my spirit (who is very much connected to Holy Spirit) is jiving right along to the build. Unfortunately, my soul… My pesky, misunderstanding soul (who is still challenged with trusting the lead of Holy Spirit) starts to freak out. My soul starts to complain about the process. My soul looks around and begins to compare and measure itself to others. “This isn’t fair!” My soul whimpers. “This isn’t what I want. This isn’t fun. This is exhausting and feels cruel. Plus, we have to deal with all of this spiritual warfare too. Let’s ask God for an easier route. Let’s ask Him to speed up the process some.”

Of course, God doesn’t speed up the process. He understands far better than I ever will that I have to learn how to use the power tools so I can in fact successfully build the house He’s designed.

So, for me, the building of the house is incredibly messy. Rather than choosing to continue to trust where Holy Spirit and my spirit are leading me, I tend to lean on my overly emotional soul.

Fortunately, I can see this now. It’s been almost three months since 2022. Meaning, I am gaining perspective. I can connect the dots for my lack of understanding in 2022. Actually, I’m beginning to connect them so much so that I feel very confident about the past year and what it was all about. It’s as if all of my asking for understanding is finally floating down into my spirit and soul as we begin to see the picture clearly.

I can now confidently see that the house will get built because I know how to use the power tools I’ve been given.


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